I know it has been a long time since I have posted any thing and a lot has happened since the last post. We moved after living in the same apartment house, to another apartment. Now by the end of March I hope we will be in our new house. I have facebook, made a lot of friends there. One of whom got me my puppy Scottie. Made some very special friends, through the Yard Sale sites on face book and the ladies and men who sell, pick up and delivery. Found out about some medical conditions I have. Nothing to serious yet. We survived a bad freezing winter, but did have cabin fever. Its still winter but at least we can get out and about now and then. Lol just found the link that I wrote down to this blog is why I am posting on here now. Now that I have the link, maybe I can start posting things here more often. There is friends and then there is true friends who is always there for you no matter what. I recently found out what kind of a friend one of my so called friends was. It was about them posting something and when I posted my thoughts and opinions on the subject they made it all about disrespecting them. I didnt disrespect them. If they dont want to know how people feel then they shouldn't post stuff for people to see. All my friends know that I will tell them the way I see it and be honest about it and not tell them what they want to hear. They unfriended me, then readded me. LOL! Is the trust still there? No, not for me. Things were said on both sides that cant be taken back. I still respect them as a person and respect their opinions. I will still talk to them online and in person,but I will not trust them again. Listening to music that I downloaded from gigatribe and going through some things and getting rid of some things that I don't need to move. Have a good rest of your day/evening depending on where you are. Be well and blessed until next time.

A New Day

I made pumpkin bread yesterday. Dale and I put up the Christmas lights. I am finally starting to get in the holiday mood. I am looking forward to the boys being home next week and baking with them. Smiling now imagining Drake using the rolling pin. Nicki told me last night that he is looking forward to baking and using the rolling pin. I will take pics. I am the pic taker in the family.

Emotions change fast. From happy to sad. Thinking about baking brought memories of holidays past back. Holidays spent with my sisters and brothers and their families, mom and my stepdad, and my mother and father in law. Those were the holidays where the tradition was, I would cook most of the dinner, they would bring whatever they wanted to and they would bring their own drinks. Nothing alocholic. My mom and Dales parents are gone now. The holiday tradition is gone. I think family and traditions is a good thing. So, a few years ago a new family tradition was started. I found out that Drake liked to bake and cook and Josh likes to bake from time to time. So we started baking together for the holidays and this coming week we are going to be baking some cookies, a pie, making a cake and cheese cake, and making a pumpkin roll. Shhhh dont tell any one but you dont need a rolling pin for any of those things. So not to disappoint Drake, I am going to make biscuits and let him us the rolling pin to roll out the dough and let him cut them out. It wont matter what they look like because I/we will just crumble them up to make crumbs to use for stuffing.

I have been up a half hour and need to go start my day. I have checked my sugar level and it is 87. I need to go eat breakfast before it gets to much lower and take my meds. I hope this new day will bring you lots of peace love and happiness in your own little piece of the world. So until next time be well.

What If?

What If ?

What if nothing was what it seemed? What if every one around you seemed happy and in good spirits but you know how they really feel cause youre the strong one that people, family and friends always lean on vent to?

What if you need to vent and all your family and friends who promise to be there for you when you need them arent there or they are having a bad day? Who do you vent to then? What do you do then?

What if love isnt enough? How do you handle tough situations that make you sad and make you cry more than normal. When love isnt enough do you stay with the person you love and try to work it out, talk about
what is bothering you or do you just walk away after being together for years?

Do you punish yourself with the WHAT IF'S? What if I had said this, done that differently. If only I had been more supportive, what if.........

I am a stong person, I have always been there for family and friends, but I learned that I cant always be the things people want me to. So, what if, I am not there and you need me? Thats the time you dig down deep inside you and find your inner strength and go on without me. I am not always going to be around.
You have the strength to do more things than you think you do. Dont ever let any one tell you that you cant do something. Thats how things dont get done. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to doing.
Mom always said "Cant never can do any thing and your name isnt Can't so get off your butt and do what ever needs to be done."

I can be here for you but I cant be the only person here for you. You have to want to help yourself. Want to do whatever it takes to resolve any given situation you find yourself in. You have to want to be the one doing
whatever it takes to move on, to make your life better. You are the only one who can make you truly happy.
You are the one person who knows you best and what you can do and dont need. You are the person who can change yourself for all the right reasons.

We need to slow down and learn to take one day at a time. To look on the bright side. There is people out there who love us just the way we are and care about us. We need to take/make time to enjoy the things around
us. Spend time with family and friends, just being yourself, doing silly things, laughing having a good time.
Its my world, my life, its what I make it be.

I choose to be me, if you cant love me for the person that I am and not for what I can or cant give you material wise, then I choose not to have you complicating my life. My choice. I dont need to have a reason why I do things the way I do. Its part of me and if you know me then you would most likely know why I do things the way I do.

People think they know me, but they really dont. I am the kind of person who keeps a lot of things bottled up. I dont say much about any thing until it gets to the point where I cant take it any longer. Then I will blast you with how I feel about things. Tell you the way I see it and if you dont like it then this is my attitude about it tough deal with it and move on.

So what if things arent right in your little piece of the world? What are you going to do to make them right?
May your little piece of the world be filled with love, peace, laughter and the sun shining down on you.
Take care of yourself until next time.

Just Rambling

Here is the place where I ramble on and on and dont care what people think about my rambling. It's my blog and I can say what I want to. I am not forcing any one to read it. Its all about the way I feel. If you dont want to know or you think it may hurt your feelings then dont read it. It wont hurt my feelings any if no one reads it. Its just a way of expressing what I am thinking and feeling at the time I am journaling my thoughts here.

I know what kind of person I am. I am a strong person, who for the most part dont let people run over me. I tell them what I think about any given situation and if they dont like the way I feel about things then its their problem and they have to find a way to handle it on their own.

Today is a dark and gloomy day. Kinda like I feel. Didnt sleep good last night. Was hot then cold then hot. Woke up every little bit. Finally got up at 4am and went on face book for a while. Went back to bed and slept until 8:30. Got up and now I am here. Still sleepy. The tv is on for background noise. Not sure what all I am going to do today but will probably nap at some point.

Feeling down because of the holidays. Missing the boys. Just lots of little things adding up to make me feel blah the last few days. Its so dark in the house today that you need the lights on to see. I dont like it since we had to set the clocks back an hour. Its full dark about 5:30 pm now and makes it feel like it should be bed time. I for the most part go to bed around 12-1 or so. Have been waking up every hour on the hour.

Do I ever feel sorry for myself? Sure do. But I dont let it drag me down. Dont let it bother me to the point where I feel worthless and that I cant do any thing for myself. I know I can do things if I want to do them. I go where I want to when I want to. I know I have family and friends who love me for me. I know that not every one loves me and that dont bother me. I dont love every one either. I dont hate them either. I just dont like their actions. I was taught that hating some one is wrong. I was taught lots of things that I still believe in today and taught my daughter. Some of the things I was taught, I have not believed in for a long time. Will I change my mind about the way I think about them? I might and I might not but thats my choice to make. If I could go back and change my past, would I? I dont think so. Why? Because it is the past that shaped the parts of me that makes me the person I am today. For the most part I am happy with the way my life turned out.

Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world. Take care and enjoy your me time.

Just Some Thoughts

I really dont know where to begin. A lot has happened since I have posted here last. Some good, some not so good and some bad.

I have been depressed and crying alot lately. Why, I dont know and I am not sure I even care to find out why.....

Some things that were supposed to happen didnt. Some did and didnt work out the way some wanted them to. The holidays are upon us soon and I am just not in the holiday mood. I will be baking the turkey and making the dinner for Thanksgiving. I think it will probably just be Dale, Nicki and the boys and I this year. Since Mom passed away we havent dont the big family holidays. I sure do miss them. But hey, thats life, things change. Not always for the good. But not always bad either. I know I am not making a whole lot of sense, but I dont really have to since this is my blog and I know what I mean. No one is forcing you to read this or try to understand what I am talking about. I feel as long as I know what I am talking about thats all that matters. If your a close friend then you more than likely know what I am not saying here. If youre family reading this and dont know what I am talking about then you dont need to know. If family was close as they like to make people think they are, then they would know what is going on with me and whats not being said here!!

Drake is wrestling for Calhoun Red Devils this year. His first wrestling match is Nov. 19th. I hope I get to go. Its in Parkersburgh.

I hope the upcoming year will be much better than this one has been. I will try to post here more but not making any promises, to any one about any thing.

I hope all is right in your own little piece of the world. Until next time be well and safe. God Bless and keep you.

Where to Begin

Where to begin with my thoughts today. They are random and have been for a few days. I have debated on adding them here.

What does it mean when friends and family say "keep in touch"? To me it means that they want to keep in touch be it by phone calls, emails or instant messaging. But to them it may mean something different entirely. I think they mean it at the time they say it to you, but then life has a way of changing things and people.

When I say it I mean it and I do keep contacting family and friends until they stop responding. But the way I see it, keeping in touch works both ways. I dont want to always be the one calling. How hard is it to pick up the phone, and call someone you supposedly care about, or when your showing online on messengers to message some one? Emails would be nice once in a while even if its just to say Hi, how are you? We are doing good.

I know people have busy lives, but if youre going to show online on messengers then you have time to talk to those whom you consider friends otherwise you would log in as invisible if you didnt want family and friends contacting you. You can always set your stealth settings so that you only show online to those whom you want to know that youre online. So there for I have decided that I am not going to be the one making the first move and contacting people who dont respond or havent responded for a while.

If you think I worry about not hearing from you, then youre right. Am I going to let it stress me out and get me down. Nope, why should I. I can see how you are on Face Book, My Space and other social networks where you have me on your friends list. Will I miss talking to you like we have been on a daily basis. Sure, but with time missing you will be a thing of the past. You will be just like other friends who was on my friends list and disappeared from my life. Once you stop talking to me, after a while I weed out those who dont talk to me and delete them from my friends list.

Do I give them second chances? Yes, but how many chances should you give people? The more chances you give them the more chances they have of tromping on your feelings.

I have other thoughts but will leave them for another time since a friend whom I havent talked to for a while just messaged me.

So until next time, I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Emotions

I have been feeling a variety of emotions this past week. Some of them good and some of them not so good. I have been thinking about a lot of different things.

Friends for example how they say one thing and then turn around and do something else. Online friends are nice to have but they arent always there for you when you need them to be. They have lives of their own and things they have to do.

I have learned not to believe in things they say any more. Some say they will be here, start a conversation with you and then just disappear with out a word. You see them come back online and they dont want to talk to you. So heck with that. I have decided that I am not going to worry about them. If they want to talk to me they will and if not then I may just be better off without them.

I am so done with winter and so looking forward to spring. I told Drake that when spring comes we will go to town and buy some kind of seeds and plant them. Watch them grow. I am going to let him pick out whatever he wants to plant. I hope he gets flower seeds. He waited to late last summer to plant watermelon seeds and they didnt grow. Should be fun watching him get excited because his plants are growing.

Some days lately has been better than others. All I can say about the bad days is that I can only try to make them get better.

I stay tried all the time. Even if I have just woke up. Most likely its from staying up most of the night and getting up early but part of it is from being a diabetic. But when I get up early I eat breakfast, take my meds and go back to bed unless I have something I have to do. Then I do whatever I have to do and then go back to bed.

I started a new blog this week. You can check it out here.

So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Family Traditions

Family is an important part of my life. Family members made me the
person I am. They play an important role in my live and this holiday season, I found out just how much of a role they have in my life and the way I feel.

A family member whom I have always been very close to and trusted with many things that was going on in my life through out the years of growing
up broke that trust. Advice that I was given, deal with it and move on. Easier said than done. Will that trust be regained? Thats a question that at this time I have no answer for. Only time will tell.

This broken trust involved more than just the one family member. It involved several members of my family and this holiday season. Those
members that it involves are no longer a part of my life. Does this bother me, yes and no. Yes, because I was just getting to know this part of my family and no because, my growing up years this side of the family was unknown to me. They came into my life unexpectedly. Was a part of my life for a couple of years or so and I was just getting to know them. Well, now I know that they are a part of my life that I can live without. I had lived without them for over 40 + years.

Why do I feel this way? Because it all started with them and some family drama they were having over the holidays. I believe holidays are about family and family traditions. I believe that while growing up kids have the stability of their parents family traditions. I also believe that when a child/children becomes an adult and starts a family of their own, that its ok for them to start their own family traditions. I also think that their parents and other family members should respect them for wanting to have their own holiday traditions.

To me it doesnt matter what day I celebrate a holiday on as long as my family is there. The place where the holiday isnt important either. What is important to me is that those that I love and care about are there celebrating with me. Its the greatest gift of all, the gift of time with family. Sharing a meal and feeling the love and happines of being with those I love an care about. Making a shared memory of being a part of a family, a part of a family tradition be it an old family tradition or a new family tradition in the making.

Family traditions come and family traditions go, changing along the way an mine this holiday season is changing. Will I be happy with the changes? Yes, I will still be with the ones I love sharing the holiday. As for the family who wont be here this holiday season, whose to say if they will be happy with their holiday and the way they brought about the changes. Is it worth losing family over some of the family wanting to start their own traditions for their children? I would say for me yes, if this is the way family is going to act every holiday, then I dont need the drama, or the stress.

Am I happy with the way things turned out? Yes and no, I found out who I could and couldnt trust and just how some people really are. So with all that said I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a most prosperous and Happy New Year filled with peace, love and happiness.
So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Summer is Over

It's been a long hot summer and now that it's fall I love the warm breezy days and the cooler nights.

Both the boys are in school. Nicki is going to school and I pick the boys up after school.

Some family things have been going on and then there is some things going on with some of my so called friends. So called because they are here talking to me on the net when they want something from me, pc help, just to vent to, etc. Then they disappear for days at a time. This is me time. Not venting to any one person and if youre a follower of my blog, I an not particularly venting to you. Just my thoughts and feelings here.

I belong to a lot of yahoo groups, well the topic in one of them was deception this week and how it makes us feel. Well, some one who came into my life about 3 years ago called me over the weekend and make such a big deal about visiting me today. It didnt happen. I didnt think it would. So I wasnt really decieved. Then they called me earlier tonight and made such a big deal out of why they couldnt visit me today. And how maybe next time they come in or I could come visit them. Well......its not going to be me going to see them. And if they come here again, I am more than ok with it if they dont come to visit me. Some things are going to be changing in my life soon and they well be for the better.

I dont want people who feel obligated for whatever reason to come and visit. I dont need people like that in my life. Some people when they talk to you in person or on the phone its all about them and you cant get a word in edgewise. Well those people wont be hearing from me either any more. If they call me I might or might not answer my phone and I might or might not return their calls. To those people who said keep in touch, I am tired of being the one who calls and then gets brushed off after listening to all your problems. Well... that to is going to change, I am done listening. I dont need need you either.

What I did this summer. Spent a lot of time with my grandsons. Drake played t ball, both boys played soccer, and Drake is playing Little Raiders Flag Football. His last game is at home this Sunday at noon. I also spent time with my sister in law. We had a good time while she was here. We went places and did things.

Dale is doing better after having stents put in his leg back in may. He is on a blood thinner and going to get blood work done every 3 weeks, to make sure the blood thinner is working.

This week is the Black Walnut Festival. Tomorrow I am going to take the boys to look at the exhibits and to walk around and look at the carnival rides. Drake got off the school bus this evening all exicite. He said nana nana guess what? When I ask him what he said I saw Grandpa Crachet today. Grandpa Crachet is a puppet show that is free during the festival. I will be busy the rest of this week and weekend doing festival things. I will have pics posted on my face book of the festival and maybe some here.

Its getting late and tomorrow is going to be a long day. I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world. So until next time, be well and safe.

Its Been A Long Time

Its been some time since I posted here. Things have happened this summer that were unexpected. My husband being in the hospital. Having stints put in his leg and having to go on blood thinners. He is at the point now with the blood thinners that he only has to go every 2 weeks and get blood work done. They usually change the dosage of his blood thinner pills evey time he goes. Hes doing really well on them and his blood is where they want it to be.

Drake played t-ball and I went to almost all of his games. Both the boys are now playing soccer and I go to most of their games.

School will be starting soon. Josh will be going into the 6th grade and Drake will be starting kindergarden. Its going to be odd not having drake around during the day. Kids grow up so fast. I sure will miss spending lots of time with Josh and Drake when school starts.

As for me, my sugar levels have been a little high, but the dr said they still looked good. My feet and ankles have been swelling from the heat. Its been one of the hottest summers we have had for a long time. The humidity is high every day.
Also, I am going to have a place removed on my shoulder, have my eyes checked and some other test done.

I have been working on some new kits, just one, but have several ideals for more.
My newest kits is called Mix n Match. It is kind of going to be like a mystery grab bag with a preview of one each for papers, elemsnts and frames. I should have it on my Beccas Unique Attic Treasures Blog some time next week.

I hope the summer has been kind to you and yours. Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world.

Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and daughters often have a special bond from the day they are born. That bond grows stronger as each day goes by. Then the rebellious teen years begin.

We expect a lot from our children and want the best for them. They think we owe them the world. Should give them what they want when they want it. They often think they shouldnt have to work and pay for any thing that they want.

I worked from the time I was 13. Started out baby sitting. Worked during the summer on the Summer Youth program all 4 of my high school years to pay for the things I needed for shcool. Worked my senior year in the kitchen at school to pay
for all the things I needed for graduation.

You guessed it. I did things that momma said I couldnt do. When I got caught I took the punishment. I was also resentful toward momma and my younger brother and sister. I got punished for things they did. When I was 18 I was told I had to get a job, pay my momma and step dad to live in their house and if I didnt I could get out. So I left and moved in with one of my older sisters to baby sit her kids. Dale and I got married shortly after that. I was told I wasnt allowed to visit my momma or siblings. Because my step father didnt like Dale. Well he didnt like me either. Wasnt any love lost. If I could go back and change things would I? No, for the simple fact that the past made me the person I am today. Taught me that I could make it on my own. That no one but me was responsible for me but me.

My relationship with my daughter while she was growing up was pretty good. Once she got married it changed. She got married when she was 18. We had our rough patches but always got past them. There were times when we both said things to each other when we were mad. Once we cooled down and thought about things we made up.

Today, we still have our differences and respect each other. We talk about any thing and everything.

I think that once a person reaches 18, that we as parents have to learn to let go. Let them be the adults that they think they are. They are going to do whatever they want to, no matter what/how we feel about it. We can only be there for them when they let us. We need to learn to let them make mistakes and hope and pray that they learn from those mistakes. I know it was hard on me letting go. I didnt like some of the things my daughter did once she was out on her owm and often voiced my opinion to her. She told me it was her life and she could do whatever she wanted. She was right. It is her life, and she has the right as an adult to choose how she wants to live it. I may not always agree with her decisions, but have learned not to voice my opinions or objections to her. If and when she wants them and ask, then yes, I will give them to her.

This has been a long week with Drake sick and Nicki working 7 days this week. I am tired and having problems with my sugar going up and down. Not been sleeping much. But as a friend says, we are women we will survive. Yes, I will survive.

Until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Emotions

Emotions

Today there is all kinds of emotions/feelings/thoughts or
whatever you want to call them running through my mind.
Not even sure how to describe how I am feeling.

Memories of family, some good and some painful. Some happy
good thoughts and some sad lonely thoughts.

Where to start.
Perhaps with this, its some thing I heard on tv last night.
"The pleasure you get from life is equal to the attitude that you
put in it". I think for me, this is very true. When I was younger,
I had a I dont care attitude about many things. I acted like nothing
could get me down. But that wasnt true. I got hurt just like any one
else. I just didnt let people see it or any one get close to me. When
I got older, I had friends that I hung out with. But not any one that
I was felt really close to except my youngest sister. But I never really
told her how I felt alot of times. She and I had our arguement and
parting of the ways more than once. But we always made up and
remain close all these years later.

Attitude as defined by merriam-webster

1 : the arrangement of the parts of a body or figure : posture
2 : a position assumed for a specific purpose,a threatening attitude
3 : a ballet position similar to the arabesque in which the raised leg is bent at the knee
4 : a mental position with regard to a fact or state, a helpful attitude b : a feeling or emotion toward a fact or state
5 : the position of an aircraft or spacecraft determined by the relationship between its axes and a reference datum (as the horizon or a particular star)
6 : an organismic state of readiness to respond in a characteristic way to a stimulus (as an object, concept, or situation)
7 : a negative or hostile state of mind b : a cool, cocky, defiant, or arrogant manner

The attitude of today will effect how I interact with the boys this afternoon and evening and of course
the attitude they have when they get home from their dads effect how we interact with each other.

Some days my attitude is I just dont care. Yeah, right what ever, and other days I am happy go lucky
and carefree an nothing much could bring me down. I know I am tired and rambling. Oh, well,
and here again it is attitude, its my blog and its ok to ramble if I want to right?

Grrrrrrrr I dont like feeling this way and not knowing exactly what the feeling is. But, thats life. My life
in general a lot of times.

My attitude about the past? It can only hurt me if I let it. Do I let it hurt me? Sure do. Its what has made
me the person I am today. The hurt and pain caused me to learn how to be strong and to stand up for the
things I believe in. How to openly speak my mind, some times causing others pain, but telling the truth and
being honest about how i feel about things. That to is all part of living life.


End of ramble for now. Time to go back to bed. When I get up I have things to do before going to babysit.
I cant say that the next time wont be rambling. It will be what it is that I am feeling at the time.
So until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Please Help

My friend Crystal ask me to post this to any one and every one I know.
This is a raffle for Cancer Research. What is being raffled off you ask. A basket of goodies from Avon. You can see the basket and get all the raffle info here.

My Weekend

All this past week, Drake kept asking me when we were going to "Aunt Granda's". Shes his great aunt. He got all excited and was jumping up and down yelling yipeeee when I told him Saturday evening that that was Aunt Granda on the phone and that she would be here soon to pick us up.

Josh, Drake and I went to spend Saturday night with her. We got up this morning and went to church with her to surprise our baby brother Rick. He was teaching his first Sunday School class. She also had a surprise for her hubby Tom, their daughter Cassie also came to church. Ricks wife Sharon knew we were coming.

Last night on the way to Granda's house we stopped and got pizza and ice cream. Went to her house and made pizza and had ice cream. The boys loved playing with her dog Rags, a pom yorkie mix. Got up this morning, made breakfast, got the boys and myself ready for church. The look on Ricks face, when he walked in and saw all of us there. Wish I had a pic. We came home after church and dropped the boys off at their house so they could go to their dads. Then Granda and I went to Peking for a late lunch. We all had a great time and looking forward to spending more time with Granda and Tom.

All was right in my own little piece of the world this weekend. So until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

It Is What It Is

It is what it is means that this is my blog where I come to be me. The person that I am and the way that I see the world around me. Where I dont have to watch what I say for fear of offending some one. My blog is public and any one can read it and comment. That is your choice to read or not read it.

I am tired of people taking things the wrong way and turning things I say or post around to make it about them, when its not. Well from now on I will be saying what I think and feel about things and if you think its about you then it is because youre the one making it about you.

I have never hidden the fact that I am very opinionated. I say what I think. Just because I express my opinion doesnt make it right or wrong. Its just that, my opinion on the topic or situation as I see it.

I do not talk about people behind their back. I say it to their face. I hope that when my friends have a problem with something I said or did that they will come and talk to me about it. If not and they talk to some one else about it (gossip or whatever you want to call it) the way I see it.......good they are letting some one else rest who cant take it.

Do I care what people think of me? Of course I do but I dont let their negative feelings bring me down. I see it as something to work on so that the relationship I have with that person will benefit from it. But..........and yes there is always a "but" if it doesnt make the relationship/friendship better for either of us then just maybe it wasnt ment to be. In this case I just try my best to get a long with that person. I WILL NOT CHANGE THE PERSON WHO I AM FOR ANY ONE BUT MYSELF. You are either my friend because you like me the way I am or not. Either way I harbor no hard feelings against any one who feels that we cant be friends based on things that happened while trying out new friendshipf. Its ok not to like every one in the world around you.

I dont mince my words with the people in my daily life and I am not going to start doing it now in the things I post here. That isnt me. This is the real me that post things here.

If a post here refers to some one specific then I will say so. I dont always mention the persons name but will mention something specific so if they read this they will know it is about them. Only something they would know.

There were some very good positives going on in my world this week. Things worked out for the best and will benefit the people involved in these positives for a long time to come.

A positive I am looking forward to this weekend is spending time with my youngest sister, Granda. I will be taking Josh and Drake with me. We will be leaving some time Saturday and going to Grandas house to spend the night. Going to her church Sunday morning so I can be there when my baby brother Rick teaches his first Sunday school class. After church, we will be coming home so the boys can get ready to go to their dads for the coming week. Granda and I have always been close. Always will be close to her. We have had our differences and always made up. I think family is important. Not all my siblings are a part of my life and that is ok. It makes me sad but I can handle it. Some family members live to far away, but do keep in touch. Not often but occassionally is fine with me.

I learned something this week about one of my older brothers through Face Book. He read something I posted to notes and was concerned about me. Showes me that he does care although we dont talk often. Made me feel good knowing he cares.

I have friends from all walks of life and from around the world in many different countries. Some have my home phone number and if I am not online, they get concerned for my well being and call me. It makes me feel good to know that they care. I also feel the same way about them and call them if they are not online for a while.

So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Just Thoughts

Today my thoughts are much like the weather. Cloudy and gloomy. The sun is trying to come out. Its 10:08 am and I just rode my exercise bike 10 miles in half an hour. Dale is trying to go to sleep but one of my two upstaris neighbors is baby sitting her 2 grandsons and they are making all kinds of noise yet again. Running across the floor, bouncing a ball, all kinds of pounding noise. She knows Dale works on Wednesday and Thursday nights and needs to sleep during the day. Some times I feel like just going up there and saying " I am asking you nicely to keep the noise down." If I have to I will complain to the landlord. I dont really want to do that. But after the 12th of this month she said she wont be baby sitting. Will wait until then and see how it goes.

Tomorrow should just be another day, but it will be like today filled with sadness.
If Momma was still living, tomorrow would be her birthday. I remember the first suprise birthday party that my youngest sister and I had for Momma. I had a key to Mommas appartment. I gave it to my sister so that she could decorate while Momma and I went to the nursing home to see my step dad. When we came back I saw my sister looking out the door watching for us. I went in first and the kitchen was decorated with balloons, streamers and posters. On the table was an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, and other refreshements and gifts. I turned around to look at Momma and she had a suprised look on her face. Tears were glistening in her eyes.
in a choked voice she said "This is the first birthday party any one has ever had for me." We all had a good time.

Mommy,
I miss you. I will never forget you. Some times I just sit and talk out loud to you. I believe that you can hear me. It makes me feel better.

On a happier note, I am looking forward to the weekend. I am going to my sisters and spend some time with her. I am going to visit her church with her Sunday morning. My baby brother Rick, will be teaching his first Sunday School Class. He doesnt know that I an going to be there. I will be coming home after church kinda. Long enough to change clothes and then off to baby sit the boys. Nicki will be working the evening shift.

I am thinking about walking across town to the grocery store but dont know if I want to wait til Dale gets up so we can go together and let that our walk for the day or if I want to go alone and then walk with Dale later in the day.

Walking twice is better than walking once, so until next time I hope things are going well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world. I am off to shower and go to the grocery store. Just hope it doesnt rain before I get back.

A Goal Met

Back on New Years Eve one of my resolutions was to ride my bike every day even if I didnt feel like it. I didnt keep this resolution or the one to eat healthier. But this week I am not baby sitting so, I did start riding my bike again and eating healthier.

Well, today I met a goal. The goal being to ride my bike so that I could get up to 10 miles a day. Where I was when I quit riding it. Today I rode my bike 10 miles, took a shower and went walking with Dale, my hubby. We walked about a mile. I feel good. I plan on riding my bike every day. I am going to try to go walking more to. I want to lose the weight I put back on since December.

Part of that weight has been lost already. It suprised me. I wasnt really trying and I was in a hurry the other morning. I got up and just grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet and didnt realize until later in the day that they were a pair I had bought last fall that were to small. They fit perfectly.

I have been eating more salad and steamed veggies lately. I have also included more friut. I do eat some things for snacks that has carbs but I watch my portion size and only eat what the container says is a serving size.

My biggest downfall is Drake. We have taught the boys to share. He offers me part of his snacks when he has them. Some of them are things I can't eat being a diabetic. He is slowly learning what I can and cannot eat.

Also this week I had encouragement from one of my best friends on the internet. A lady I met in a group that we both belong to. We agreed a while back to be diet buddies but didnt really do much about starting until this week.

So in closing, all is well in my little piece of the world today. Until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Mirrored Image

Mirrored Image

As I stand before the full looking glass,
I wonder how can that image looking back
be me. Its not but yet it is.
The laugh lines around the sad eyes that
look at the world around me.
How can it be?
How can that mirrored image be me?

Clothes that dont fit,
hanging on a frame that is no longer tall.
How small I appear.
Wrinkles where there use to be none.
Lose skin in places where there shouldnt be any.

Sad eyes stare back at me,
lost in thoughts of the past,
a past put behind me or is it?
Thoughts come and thoughts go
wondering what other changes
aging will bring to this body that
I see, that is me.

Dropping down on my knees,
my reflection looking back at me.
Yes, that mirrored image is me.
But, how can it be?

Wrote 11/23/2009

When Love Dies

When Love Dies
Wrote April 6, 2010 by me Becca

His love filled my soul with happiness
His crewl words caused my soul to wither and die
Soft sigh exscaping lips that are silent out of
resect for what I had been taught
It all came to naught
We faught
Loves gone
Anger abounds
Accusations flies around
Yelling sounds soars
while my tears slide down my cheeks ignored.
No where to go
nothing to do but stay
My fears keeping me there
No one to care
no one to share
with cubboards that are bare
Lord help me let go
help me to move on to
put one foot in front of the other and walk or
stumble out the door. Show me the way
take me by the hand and lead me away,
for there is nothing left to say.

My Thoughts on Lying

Is your intution good? Do you believe it? Do you heed it when it tells
you some thing is wrong? I do. Especially when it is about people in
my daily life or the people I have meet on the internet and talk to alot.

When it comes to people lying, my intution is pretty good. I dont always
confront them about the lies they tell, but I do let them know what I
think and feel about whatever lie they are telling at the time.

I think it is always best to tell the truth no matteer what the situation may be. One lie snowballs into more and more lies and eventually you
dont know what the real truth is.

In all honesty, I dont like people who are always lying. I dont like to be
around them in person or on the internet. I dont always stick to that though.
I have to be really upset with some one and fed up with their lies before I no
longer have any thing to do with them. I will tell people face to face what I
think about them. I dont go behind their back. Its ok if not all the people I
know dont like me. Cuz the good Lord knows I sure dont like some of the
people I have met in my life time.

Its ok to have friends that like and are friends with some of the people you dont
like or get along with. Thats compromise and thats what makes a good friend a
true friend. I dont have to be with my best friend all the time for them
to be my best friend. I dont need friends buying me things for them to be my friends.

What I need from my friends is truth, honesty, trust and respect. Some one who is going to be there when I need them and some one who knows I will be there for them
no matter what time of day or night. They have but to call and I'll be there, in person when possible, and when not possible either on messenger in a voice chat or on the phone.

In conclusion, I need to think some more about what I want to do an make a final decision and stick to it.........

So, until next time, I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.