I know it has been a long time since I have posted any thing and a lot has happened since the last post. We moved after living in the same apartment house, to another apartment. Now by the end of March I hope we will be in our new house. I have facebook, made a lot of friends there. One of whom got me my puppy Scottie. Made some very special friends, through the Yard Sale sites on face book and the ladies and men who sell, pick up and delivery. Found out about some medical conditions I have. Nothing to serious yet. We survived a bad freezing winter, but did have cabin fever. Its still winter but at least we can get out and about now and then. Lol just found the link that I wrote down to this blog is why I am posting on here now. Now that I have the link, maybe I can start posting things here more often. There is friends and then there is true friends who is always there for you no matter what. I recently found out what kind of a friend one of my so called friends was. It was about them posting something and when I posted my thoughts and opinions on the subject they made it all about disrespecting them. I didnt disrespect them. If they dont want to know how people feel then they shouldn't post stuff for people to see. All my friends know that I will tell them the way I see it and be honest about it and not tell them what they want to hear. They unfriended me, then readded me. LOL! Is the trust still there? No, not for me. Things were said on both sides that cant be taken back. I still respect them as a person and respect their opinions. I will still talk to them online and in person,but I will not trust them again. Listening to music that I downloaded from gigatribe and going through some things and getting rid of some things that I don't need to move. Have a good rest of your day/evening depending on where you are. Be well and blessed until next time.

A New Day

I made pumpkin bread yesterday. Dale and I put up the Christmas lights. I am finally starting to get in the holiday mood. I am looking forward to the boys being home next week and baking with them. Smiling now imagining Drake using the rolling pin. Nicki told me last night that he is looking forward to baking and using the rolling pin. I will take pics. I am the pic taker in the family.

Emotions change fast. From happy to sad. Thinking about baking brought memories of holidays past back. Holidays spent with my sisters and brothers and their families, mom and my stepdad, and my mother and father in law. Those were the holidays where the tradition was, I would cook most of the dinner, they would bring whatever they wanted to and they would bring their own drinks. Nothing alocholic. My mom and Dales parents are gone now. The holiday tradition is gone. I think family and traditions is a good thing. So, a few years ago a new family tradition was started. I found out that Drake liked to bake and cook and Josh likes to bake from time to time. So we started baking together for the holidays and this coming week we are going to be baking some cookies, a pie, making a cake and cheese cake, and making a pumpkin roll. Shhhh dont tell any one but you dont need a rolling pin for any of those things. So not to disappoint Drake, I am going to make biscuits and let him us the rolling pin to roll out the dough and let him cut them out. It wont matter what they look like because I/we will just crumble them up to make crumbs to use for stuffing.

I have been up a half hour and need to go start my day. I have checked my sugar level and it is 87. I need to go eat breakfast before it gets to much lower and take my meds. I hope this new day will bring you lots of peace love and happiness in your own little piece of the world. So until next time be well.

What If?

What If ?

What if nothing was what it seemed? What if every one around you seemed happy and in good spirits but you know how they really feel cause youre the strong one that people, family and friends always lean on vent to?

What if you need to vent and all your family and friends who promise to be there for you when you need them arent there or they are having a bad day? Who do you vent to then? What do you do then?

What if love isnt enough? How do you handle tough situations that make you sad and make you cry more than normal. When love isnt enough do you stay with the person you love and try to work it out, talk about
what is bothering you or do you just walk away after being together for years?

Do you punish yourself with the WHAT IF'S? What if I had said this, done that differently. If only I had been more supportive, what if.........

I am a stong person, I have always been there for family and friends, but I learned that I cant always be the things people want me to. So, what if, I am not there and you need me? Thats the time you dig down deep inside you and find your inner strength and go on without me. I am not always going to be around.
You have the strength to do more things than you think you do. Dont ever let any one tell you that you cant do something. Thats how things dont get done. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to doing.
Mom always said "Cant never can do any thing and your name isnt Can't so get off your butt and do what ever needs to be done."

I can be here for you but I cant be the only person here for you. You have to want to help yourself. Want to do whatever it takes to resolve any given situation you find yourself in. You have to want to be the one doing
whatever it takes to move on, to make your life better. You are the only one who can make you truly happy.
You are the one person who knows you best and what you can do and dont need. You are the person who can change yourself for all the right reasons.

We need to slow down and learn to take one day at a time. To look on the bright side. There is people out there who love us just the way we are and care about us. We need to take/make time to enjoy the things around
us. Spend time with family and friends, just being yourself, doing silly things, laughing having a good time.
Its my world, my life, its what I make it be.

I choose to be me, if you cant love me for the person that I am and not for what I can or cant give you material wise, then I choose not to have you complicating my life. My choice. I dont need to have a reason why I do things the way I do. Its part of me and if you know me then you would most likely know why I do things the way I do.

People think they know me, but they really dont. I am the kind of person who keeps a lot of things bottled up. I dont say much about any thing until it gets to the point where I cant take it any longer. Then I will blast you with how I feel about things. Tell you the way I see it and if you dont like it then this is my attitude about it tough deal with it and move on.

So what if things arent right in your little piece of the world? What are you going to do to make them right?
May your little piece of the world be filled with love, peace, laughter and the sun shining down on you.
Take care of yourself until next time.

Just Rambling

Here is the place where I ramble on and on and dont care what people think about my rambling. It's my blog and I can say what I want to. I am not forcing any one to read it. Its all about the way I feel. If you dont want to know or you think it may hurt your feelings then dont read it. It wont hurt my feelings any if no one reads it. Its just a way of expressing what I am thinking and feeling at the time I am journaling my thoughts here.

I know what kind of person I am. I am a strong person, who for the most part dont let people run over me. I tell them what I think about any given situation and if they dont like the way I feel about things then its their problem and they have to find a way to handle it on their own.

Today is a dark and gloomy day. Kinda like I feel. Didnt sleep good last night. Was hot then cold then hot. Woke up every little bit. Finally got up at 4am and went on face book for a while. Went back to bed and slept until 8:30. Got up and now I am here. Still sleepy. The tv is on for background noise. Not sure what all I am going to do today but will probably nap at some point.

Feeling down because of the holidays. Missing the boys. Just lots of little things adding up to make me feel blah the last few days. Its so dark in the house today that you need the lights on to see. I dont like it since we had to set the clocks back an hour. Its full dark about 5:30 pm now and makes it feel like it should be bed time. I for the most part go to bed around 12-1 or so. Have been waking up every hour on the hour.

Do I ever feel sorry for myself? Sure do. But I dont let it drag me down. Dont let it bother me to the point where I feel worthless and that I cant do any thing for myself. I know I can do things if I want to do them. I go where I want to when I want to. I know I have family and friends who love me for me. I know that not every one loves me and that dont bother me. I dont love every one either. I dont hate them either. I just dont like their actions. I was taught that hating some one is wrong. I was taught lots of things that I still believe in today and taught my daughter. Some of the things I was taught, I have not believed in for a long time. Will I change my mind about the way I think about them? I might and I might not but thats my choice to make. If I could go back and change my past, would I? I dont think so. Why? Because it is the past that shaped the parts of me that makes me the person I am today. For the most part I am happy with the way my life turned out.

Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world. Take care and enjoy your me time.

Just Some Thoughts

I really dont know where to begin. A lot has happened since I have posted here last. Some good, some not so good and some bad.

I have been depressed and crying alot lately. Why, I dont know and I am not sure I even care to find out why.....

Some things that were supposed to happen didnt. Some did and didnt work out the way some wanted them to. The holidays are upon us soon and I am just not in the holiday mood. I will be baking the turkey and making the dinner for Thanksgiving. I think it will probably just be Dale, Nicki and the boys and I this year. Since Mom passed away we havent dont the big family holidays. I sure do miss them. But hey, thats life, things change. Not always for the good. But not always bad either. I know I am not making a whole lot of sense, but I dont really have to since this is my blog and I know what I mean. No one is forcing you to read this or try to understand what I am talking about. I feel as long as I know what I am talking about thats all that matters. If your a close friend then you more than likely know what I am not saying here. If youre family reading this and dont know what I am talking about then you dont need to know. If family was close as they like to make people think they are, then they would know what is going on with me and whats not being said here!!

Drake is wrestling for Calhoun Red Devils this year. His first wrestling match is Nov. 19th. I hope I get to go. Its in Parkersburgh.

I hope the upcoming year will be much better than this one has been. I will try to post here more but not making any promises, to any one about any thing.

I hope all is right in your own little piece of the world. Until next time be well and safe. God Bless and keep you.

Where to Begin

Where to begin with my thoughts today. They are random and have been for a few days. I have debated on adding them here.

What does it mean when friends and family say "keep in touch"? To me it means that they want to keep in touch be it by phone calls, emails or instant messaging. But to them it may mean something different entirely. I think they mean it at the time they say it to you, but then life has a way of changing things and people.

When I say it I mean it and I do keep contacting family and friends until they stop responding. But the way I see it, keeping in touch works both ways. I dont want to always be the one calling. How hard is it to pick up the phone, and call someone you supposedly care about, or when your showing online on messengers to message some one? Emails would be nice once in a while even if its just to say Hi, how are you? We are doing good.

I know people have busy lives, but if youre going to show online on messengers then you have time to talk to those whom you consider friends otherwise you would log in as invisible if you didnt want family and friends contacting you. You can always set your stealth settings so that you only show online to those whom you want to know that youre online. So there for I have decided that I am not going to be the one making the first move and contacting people who dont respond or havent responded for a while.

If you think I worry about not hearing from you, then youre right. Am I going to let it stress me out and get me down. Nope, why should I. I can see how you are on Face Book, My Space and other social networks where you have me on your friends list. Will I miss talking to you like we have been on a daily basis. Sure, but with time missing you will be a thing of the past. You will be just like other friends who was on my friends list and disappeared from my life. Once you stop talking to me, after a while I weed out those who dont talk to me and delete them from my friends list.

Do I give them second chances? Yes, but how many chances should you give people? The more chances you give them the more chances they have of tromping on your feelings.

I have other thoughts but will leave them for another time since a friend whom I havent talked to for a while just messaged me.

So until next time, I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Emotions

I have been feeling a variety of emotions this past week. Some of them good and some of them not so good. I have been thinking about a lot of different things.

Friends for example how they say one thing and then turn around and do something else. Online friends are nice to have but they arent always there for you when you need them to be. They have lives of their own and things they have to do.

I have learned not to believe in things they say any more. Some say they will be here, start a conversation with you and then just disappear with out a word. You see them come back online and they dont want to talk to you. So heck with that. I have decided that I am not going to worry about them. If they want to talk to me they will and if not then I may just be better off without them.

I am so done with winter and so looking forward to spring. I told Drake that when spring comes we will go to town and buy some kind of seeds and plant them. Watch them grow. I am going to let him pick out whatever he wants to plant. I hope he gets flower seeds. He waited to late last summer to plant watermelon seeds and they didnt grow. Should be fun watching him get excited because his plants are growing.

Some days lately has been better than others. All I can say about the bad days is that I can only try to make them get better.

I stay tried all the time. Even if I have just woke up. Most likely its from staying up most of the night and getting up early but part of it is from being a diabetic. But when I get up early I eat breakfast, take my meds and go back to bed unless I have something I have to do. Then I do whatever I have to do and then go back to bed.

I started a new blog this week. You can check it out here.

So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.