Its Been A Long Time

Its been some time since I posted here. Things have happened this summer that were unexpected. My husband being in the hospital. Having stints put in his leg and having to go on blood thinners. He is at the point now with the blood thinners that he only has to go every 2 weeks and get blood work done. They usually change the dosage of his blood thinner pills evey time he goes. Hes doing really well on them and his blood is where they want it to be.

Drake played t-ball and I went to almost all of his games. Both the boys are now playing soccer and I go to most of their games.

School will be starting soon. Josh will be going into the 6th grade and Drake will be starting kindergarden. Its going to be odd not having drake around during the day. Kids grow up so fast. I sure will miss spending lots of time with Josh and Drake when school starts.

As for me, my sugar levels have been a little high, but the dr said they still looked good. My feet and ankles have been swelling from the heat. Its been one of the hottest summers we have had for a long time. The humidity is high every day.
Also, I am going to have a place removed on my shoulder, have my eyes checked and some other test done.

I have been working on some new kits, just one, but have several ideals for more.
My newest kits is called Mix n Match. It is kind of going to be like a mystery grab bag with a preview of one each for papers, elemsnts and frames. I should have it on my Beccas Unique Attic Treasures Blog some time next week.

I hope the summer has been kind to you and yours. Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world.

Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and daughters often have a special bond from the day they are born. That bond grows stronger as each day goes by. Then the rebellious teen years begin.

We expect a lot from our children and want the best for them. They think we owe them the world. Should give them what they want when they want it. They often think they shouldnt have to work and pay for any thing that they want.

I worked from the time I was 13. Started out baby sitting. Worked during the summer on the Summer Youth program all 4 of my high school years to pay for the things I needed for shcool. Worked my senior year in the kitchen at school to pay
for all the things I needed for graduation.

You guessed it. I did things that momma said I couldnt do. When I got caught I took the punishment. I was also resentful toward momma and my younger brother and sister. I got punished for things they did. When I was 18 I was told I had to get a job, pay my momma and step dad to live in their house and if I didnt I could get out. So I left and moved in with one of my older sisters to baby sit her kids. Dale and I got married shortly after that. I was told I wasnt allowed to visit my momma or siblings. Because my step father didnt like Dale. Well he didnt like me either. Wasnt any love lost. If I could go back and change things would I? No, for the simple fact that the past made me the person I am today. Taught me that I could make it on my own. That no one but me was responsible for me but me.

My relationship with my daughter while she was growing up was pretty good. Once she got married it changed. She got married when she was 18. We had our rough patches but always got past them. There were times when we both said things to each other when we were mad. Once we cooled down and thought about things we made up.

Today, we still have our differences and respect each other. We talk about any thing and everything.

I think that once a person reaches 18, that we as parents have to learn to let go. Let them be the adults that they think they are. They are going to do whatever they want to, no matter what/how we feel about it. We can only be there for them when they let us. We need to learn to let them make mistakes and hope and pray that they learn from those mistakes. I know it was hard on me letting go. I didnt like some of the things my daughter did once she was out on her owm and often voiced my opinion to her. She told me it was her life and she could do whatever she wanted. She was right. It is her life, and she has the right as an adult to choose how she wants to live it. I may not always agree with her decisions, but have learned not to voice my opinions or objections to her. If and when she wants them and ask, then yes, I will give them to her.

This has been a long week with Drake sick and Nicki working 7 days this week. I am tired and having problems with my sugar going up and down. Not been sleeping much. But as a friend says, we are women we will survive. Yes, I will survive.

Until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Emotions

Emotions

Today there is all kinds of emotions/feelings/thoughts or
whatever you want to call them running through my mind.
Not even sure how to describe how I am feeling.

Memories of family, some good and some painful. Some happy
good thoughts and some sad lonely thoughts.

Where to start.
Perhaps with this, its some thing I heard on tv last night.
"The pleasure you get from life is equal to the attitude that you
put in it". I think for me, this is very true. When I was younger,
I had a I dont care attitude about many things. I acted like nothing
could get me down. But that wasnt true. I got hurt just like any one
else. I just didnt let people see it or any one get close to me. When
I got older, I had friends that I hung out with. But not any one that
I was felt really close to except my youngest sister. But I never really
told her how I felt alot of times. She and I had our arguement and
parting of the ways more than once. But we always made up and
remain close all these years later.

Attitude as defined by merriam-webster

1 : the arrangement of the parts of a body or figure : posture
2 : a position assumed for a specific purpose,a threatening attitude
3 : a ballet position similar to the arabesque in which the raised leg is bent at the knee
4 : a mental position with regard to a fact or state, a helpful attitude b : a feeling or emotion toward a fact or state
5 : the position of an aircraft or spacecraft determined by the relationship between its axes and a reference datum (as the horizon or a particular star)
6 : an organismic state of readiness to respond in a characteristic way to a stimulus (as an object, concept, or situation)
7 : a negative or hostile state of mind b : a cool, cocky, defiant, or arrogant manner

The attitude of today will effect how I interact with the boys this afternoon and evening and of course
the attitude they have when they get home from their dads effect how we interact with each other.

Some days my attitude is I just dont care. Yeah, right what ever, and other days I am happy go lucky
and carefree an nothing much could bring me down. I know I am tired and rambling. Oh, well,
and here again it is attitude, its my blog and its ok to ramble if I want to right?

Grrrrrrrr I dont like feeling this way and not knowing exactly what the feeling is. But, thats life. My life
in general a lot of times.

My attitude about the past? It can only hurt me if I let it. Do I let it hurt me? Sure do. Its what has made
me the person I am today. The hurt and pain caused me to learn how to be strong and to stand up for the
things I believe in. How to openly speak my mind, some times causing others pain, but telling the truth and
being honest about how i feel about things. That to is all part of living life.


End of ramble for now. Time to go back to bed. When I get up I have things to do before going to babysit.
I cant say that the next time wont be rambling. It will be what it is that I am feeling at the time.
So until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Please Help

My friend Crystal ask me to post this to any one and every one I know.
This is a raffle for Cancer Research. What is being raffled off you ask. A basket of goodies from Avon. You can see the basket and get all the raffle info here.

My Weekend

All this past week, Drake kept asking me when we were going to "Aunt Granda's". Shes his great aunt. He got all excited and was jumping up and down yelling yipeeee when I told him Saturday evening that that was Aunt Granda on the phone and that she would be here soon to pick us up.

Josh, Drake and I went to spend Saturday night with her. We got up this morning and went to church with her to surprise our baby brother Rick. He was teaching his first Sunday School class. She also had a surprise for her hubby Tom, their daughter Cassie also came to church. Ricks wife Sharon knew we were coming.

Last night on the way to Granda's house we stopped and got pizza and ice cream. Went to her house and made pizza and had ice cream. The boys loved playing with her dog Rags, a pom yorkie mix. Got up this morning, made breakfast, got the boys and myself ready for church. The look on Ricks face, when he walked in and saw all of us there. Wish I had a pic. We came home after church and dropped the boys off at their house so they could go to their dads. Then Granda and I went to Peking for a late lunch. We all had a great time and looking forward to spending more time with Granda and Tom.

All was right in my own little piece of the world this weekend. So until next time I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

It Is What It Is

It is what it is means that this is my blog where I come to be me. The person that I am and the way that I see the world around me. Where I dont have to watch what I say for fear of offending some one. My blog is public and any one can read it and comment. That is your choice to read or not read it.

I am tired of people taking things the wrong way and turning things I say or post around to make it about them, when its not. Well from now on I will be saying what I think and feel about things and if you think its about you then it is because youre the one making it about you.

I have never hidden the fact that I am very opinionated. I say what I think. Just because I express my opinion doesnt make it right or wrong. Its just that, my opinion on the topic or situation as I see it.

I do not talk about people behind their back. I say it to their face. I hope that when my friends have a problem with something I said or did that they will come and talk to me about it. If not and they talk to some one else about it (gossip or whatever you want to call it) the way I see it.......good they are letting some one else rest who cant take it.

Do I care what people think of me? Of course I do but I dont let their negative feelings bring me down. I see it as something to work on so that the relationship I have with that person will benefit from it. But..........and yes there is always a "but" if it doesnt make the relationship/friendship better for either of us then just maybe it wasnt ment to be. In this case I just try my best to get a long with that person. I WILL NOT CHANGE THE PERSON WHO I AM FOR ANY ONE BUT MYSELF. You are either my friend because you like me the way I am or not. Either way I harbor no hard feelings against any one who feels that we cant be friends based on things that happened while trying out new friendshipf. Its ok not to like every one in the world around you.

I dont mince my words with the people in my daily life and I am not going to start doing it now in the things I post here. That isnt me. This is the real me that post things here.

If a post here refers to some one specific then I will say so. I dont always mention the persons name but will mention something specific so if they read this they will know it is about them. Only something they would know.

There were some very good positives going on in my world this week. Things worked out for the best and will benefit the people involved in these positives for a long time to come.

A positive I am looking forward to this weekend is spending time with my youngest sister, Granda. I will be taking Josh and Drake with me. We will be leaving some time Saturday and going to Grandas house to spend the night. Going to her church Sunday morning so I can be there when my baby brother Rick teaches his first Sunday school class. After church, we will be coming home so the boys can get ready to go to their dads for the coming week. Granda and I have always been close. Always will be close to her. We have had our differences and always made up. I think family is important. Not all my siblings are a part of my life and that is ok. It makes me sad but I can handle it. Some family members live to far away, but do keep in touch. Not often but occassionally is fine with me.

I learned something this week about one of my older brothers through Face Book. He read something I posted to notes and was concerned about me. Showes me that he does care although we dont talk often. Made me feel good knowing he cares.

I have friends from all walks of life and from around the world in many different countries. Some have my home phone number and if I am not online, they get concerned for my well being and call me. It makes me feel good to know that they care. I also feel the same way about them and call them if they are not online for a while.

So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.

Just Thoughts

Today my thoughts are much like the weather. Cloudy and gloomy. The sun is trying to come out. Its 10:08 am and I just rode my exercise bike 10 miles in half an hour. Dale is trying to go to sleep but one of my two upstaris neighbors is baby sitting her 2 grandsons and they are making all kinds of noise yet again. Running across the floor, bouncing a ball, all kinds of pounding noise. She knows Dale works on Wednesday and Thursday nights and needs to sleep during the day. Some times I feel like just going up there and saying " I am asking you nicely to keep the noise down." If I have to I will complain to the landlord. I dont really want to do that. But after the 12th of this month she said she wont be baby sitting. Will wait until then and see how it goes.

Tomorrow should just be another day, but it will be like today filled with sadness.
If Momma was still living, tomorrow would be her birthday. I remember the first suprise birthday party that my youngest sister and I had for Momma. I had a key to Mommas appartment. I gave it to my sister so that she could decorate while Momma and I went to the nursing home to see my step dad. When we came back I saw my sister looking out the door watching for us. I went in first and the kitchen was decorated with balloons, streamers and posters. On the table was an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, and other refreshements and gifts. I turned around to look at Momma and she had a suprised look on her face. Tears were glistening in her eyes.
in a choked voice she said "This is the first birthday party any one has ever had for me." We all had a good time.

Mommy,
I miss you. I will never forget you. Some times I just sit and talk out loud to you. I believe that you can hear me. It makes me feel better.

On a happier note, I am looking forward to the weekend. I am going to my sisters and spend some time with her. I am going to visit her church with her Sunday morning. My baby brother Rick, will be teaching his first Sunday School Class. He doesnt know that I an going to be there. I will be coming home after church kinda. Long enough to change clothes and then off to baby sit the boys. Nicki will be working the evening shift.

I am thinking about walking across town to the grocery store but dont know if I want to wait til Dale gets up so we can go together and let that our walk for the day or if I want to go alone and then walk with Dale later in the day.

Walking twice is better than walking once, so until next time I hope things are going well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world. I am off to shower and go to the grocery store. Just hope it doesnt rain before I get back.