Here is the place where I ramble on and on and dont care what people think about my rambling. It's my blog and I can say what I want to. I am not forcing any one to read it. Its all about the way I feel. If you dont want to know or you think it may hurt your feelings then dont read it. It wont hurt my feelings any if no one reads it. Its just a way of expressing what I am thinking and feeling at the time I am journaling my thoughts here.
I know what kind of person I am. I am a strong person, who for the most part dont let people run over me. I tell them what I think about any given situation and if they dont like the way I feel about things then its their problem and they have to find a way to handle it on their own.
Today is a dark and gloomy day. Kinda like I feel. Didnt sleep good last night. Was hot then cold then hot. Woke up every little bit. Finally got up at 4am and went on face book for a while. Went back to bed and slept until 8:30. Got up and now I am here. Still sleepy. The tv is on for background noise. Not sure what all I am going to do today but will probably nap at some point.
Feeling down because of the holidays. Missing the boys. Just lots of little things adding up to make me feel blah the last few days. Its so dark in the house today that you need the lights on to see. I dont like it since we had to set the clocks back an hour. Its full dark about 5:30 pm now and makes it feel like it should be bed time. I for the most part go to bed around 12-1 or so. Have been waking up every hour on the hour.
Do I ever feel sorry for myself? Sure do. But I dont let it drag me down. Dont let it bother me to the point where I feel worthless and that I cant do any thing for myself. I know I can do things if I want to do them. I go where I want to when I want to. I know I have family and friends who love me for me. I know that not every one loves me and that dont bother me. I dont love every one either. I dont hate them either. I just dont like their actions. I was taught that hating some one is wrong. I was taught lots of things that I still believe in today and taught my daughter. Some of the things I was taught, I have not believed in for a long time. Will I change my mind about the way I think about them? I might and I might not but thats my choice to make. If I could go back and change my past, would I? I dont think so. Why? Because it is the past that shaped the parts of me that makes me the person I am today. For the most part I am happy with the way my life turned out.
Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world. Take care and enjoy your me time.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Just Some Thoughts
I really dont know where to begin. A lot has happened since I have posted here last. Some good, some not so good and some bad.
I have been depressed and crying alot lately. Why, I dont know and I am not sure I even care to find out why.....
Some things that were supposed to happen didnt. Some did and didnt work out the way some wanted them to. The holidays are upon us soon and I am just not in the holiday mood. I will be baking the turkey and making the dinner for Thanksgiving. I think it will probably just be Dale, Nicki and the boys and I this year. Since Mom passed away we havent dont the big family holidays. I sure do miss them. But hey, thats life, things change. Not always for the good. But not always bad either. I know I am not making a whole lot of sense, but I dont really have to since this is my blog and I know what I mean. No one is forcing you to read this or try to understand what I am talking about. I feel as long as I know what I am talking about thats all that matters. If your a close friend then you more than likely know what I am not saying here. If youre family reading this and dont know what I am talking about then you dont need to know. If family was close as they like to make people think they are, then they would know what is going on with me and whats not being said here!!
Drake is wrestling for Calhoun Red Devils this year. His first wrestling match is Nov. 19th. I hope I get to go. Its in Parkersburgh.
I hope the upcoming year will be much better than this one has been. I will try to post here more but not making any promises, to any one about any thing.
I hope all is right in your own little piece of the world. Until next time be well and safe. God Bless and keep you.
I have been depressed and crying alot lately. Why, I dont know and I am not sure I even care to find out why.....
Some things that were supposed to happen didnt. Some did and didnt work out the way some wanted them to. The holidays are upon us soon and I am just not in the holiday mood. I will be baking the turkey and making the dinner for Thanksgiving. I think it will probably just be Dale, Nicki and the boys and I this year. Since Mom passed away we havent dont the big family holidays. I sure do miss them. But hey, thats life, things change. Not always for the good. But not always bad either. I know I am not making a whole lot of sense, but I dont really have to since this is my blog and I know what I mean. No one is forcing you to read this or try to understand what I am talking about. I feel as long as I know what I am talking about thats all that matters. If your a close friend then you more than likely know what I am not saying here. If youre family reading this and dont know what I am talking about then you dont need to know. If family was close as they like to make people think they are, then they would know what is going on with me and whats not being said here!!
Drake is wrestling for Calhoun Red Devils this year. His first wrestling match is Nov. 19th. I hope I get to go. Its in Parkersburgh.
I hope the upcoming year will be much better than this one has been. I will try to post here more but not making any promises, to any one about any thing.
I hope all is right in your own little piece of the world. Until next time be well and safe. God Bless and keep you.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Where to Begin
Where to begin with my thoughts today. They are random and have been for a few days. I have debated on adding them here.
What does it mean when friends and family say "keep in touch"? To me it means that they want to keep in touch be it by phone calls, emails or instant messaging. But to them it may mean something different entirely. I think they mean it at the time they say it to you, but then life has a way of changing things and people.
When I say it I mean it and I do keep contacting family and friends until they stop responding. But the way I see it, keeping in touch works both ways. I dont want to always be the one calling. How hard is it to pick up the phone, and call someone you supposedly care about, or when your showing online on messengers to message some one? Emails would be nice once in a while even if its just to say Hi, how are you? We are doing good.
I know people have busy lives, but if youre going to show online on messengers then you have time to talk to those whom you consider friends otherwise you would log in as invisible if you didnt want family and friends contacting you. You can always set your stealth settings so that you only show online to those whom you want to know that youre online. So there for I have decided that I am not going to be the one making the first move and contacting people who dont respond or havent responded for a while.
If you think I worry about not hearing from you, then youre right. Am I going to let it stress me out and get me down. Nope, why should I. I can see how you are on Face Book, My Space and other social networks where you have me on your friends list. Will I miss talking to you like we have been on a daily basis. Sure, but with time missing you will be a thing of the past. You will be just like other friends who was on my friends list and disappeared from my life. Once you stop talking to me, after a while I weed out those who dont talk to me and delete them from my friends list.
Do I give them second chances? Yes, but how many chances should you give people? The more chances you give them the more chances they have of tromping on your feelings.
I have other thoughts but will leave them for another time since a friend whom I havent talked to for a while just messaged me.
So until next time, I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.
What does it mean when friends and family say "keep in touch"? To me it means that they want to keep in touch be it by phone calls, emails or instant messaging. But to them it may mean something different entirely. I think they mean it at the time they say it to you, but then life has a way of changing things and people.
When I say it I mean it and I do keep contacting family and friends until they stop responding. But the way I see it, keeping in touch works both ways. I dont want to always be the one calling. How hard is it to pick up the phone, and call someone you supposedly care about, or when your showing online on messengers to message some one? Emails would be nice once in a while even if its just to say Hi, how are you? We are doing good.
I know people have busy lives, but if youre going to show online on messengers then you have time to talk to those whom you consider friends otherwise you would log in as invisible if you didnt want family and friends contacting you. You can always set your stealth settings so that you only show online to those whom you want to know that youre online. So there for I have decided that I am not going to be the one making the first move and contacting people who dont respond or havent responded for a while.
If you think I worry about not hearing from you, then youre right. Am I going to let it stress me out and get me down. Nope, why should I. I can see how you are on Face Book, My Space and other social networks where you have me on your friends list. Will I miss talking to you like we have been on a daily basis. Sure, but with time missing you will be a thing of the past. You will be just like other friends who was on my friends list and disappeared from my life. Once you stop talking to me, after a while I weed out those who dont talk to me and delete them from my friends list.
Do I give them second chances? Yes, but how many chances should you give people? The more chances you give them the more chances they have of tromping on your feelings.
I have other thoughts but will leave them for another time since a friend whom I havent talked to for a while just messaged me.
So until next time, I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Emotions
I have been feeling a variety of emotions this past week. Some of them good and some of them not so good. I have been thinking about a lot of different things.
Friends for example how they say one thing and then turn around and do something else. Online friends are nice to have but they arent always there for you when you need them to be. They have lives of their own and things they have to do.
I have learned not to believe in things they say any more. Some say they will be here, start a conversation with you and then just disappear with out a word. You see them come back online and they dont want to talk to you. So heck with that. I have decided that I am not going to worry about them. If they want to talk to me they will and if not then I may just be better off without them.
I am so done with winter and so looking forward to spring. I told Drake that when spring comes we will go to town and buy some kind of seeds and plant them. Watch them grow. I am going to let him pick out whatever he wants to plant. I hope he gets flower seeds. He waited to late last summer to plant watermelon seeds and they didnt grow. Should be fun watching him get excited because his plants are growing.
Some days lately has been better than others. All I can say about the bad days is that I can only try to make them get better.
I stay tried all the time. Even if I have just woke up. Most likely its from staying up most of the night and getting up early but part of it is from being a diabetic. But when I get up early I eat breakfast, take my meds and go back to bed unless I have something I have to do. Then I do whatever I have to do and then go back to bed.
I started a new blog this week. You can check it out here.
So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.
Friends for example how they say one thing and then turn around and do something else. Online friends are nice to have but they arent always there for you when you need them to be. They have lives of their own and things they have to do.
I have learned not to believe in things they say any more. Some say they will be here, start a conversation with you and then just disappear with out a word. You see them come back online and they dont want to talk to you. So heck with that. I have decided that I am not going to worry about them. If they want to talk to me they will and if not then I may just be better off without them.
I am so done with winter and so looking forward to spring. I told Drake that when spring comes we will go to town and buy some kind of seeds and plant them. Watch them grow. I am going to let him pick out whatever he wants to plant. I hope he gets flower seeds. He waited to late last summer to plant watermelon seeds and they didnt grow. Should be fun watching him get excited because his plants are growing.
Some days lately has been better than others. All I can say about the bad days is that I can only try to make them get better.
I stay tried all the time. Even if I have just woke up. Most likely its from staying up most of the night and getting up early but part of it is from being a diabetic. But when I get up early I eat breakfast, take my meds and go back to bed unless I have something I have to do. Then I do whatever I have to do and then go back to bed.
I started a new blog this week. You can check it out here.
So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Family Traditions
Family is an important part of my life. Family members made me the
person I am. They play an important role in my live and this holiday season, I found out just how much of a role they have in my life and the way I feel.
A family member whom I have always been very close to and trusted with many things that was going on in my life through out the years of growing
up broke that trust. Advice that I was given, deal with it and move on. Easier said than done. Will that trust be regained? Thats a question that at this time I have no answer for. Only time will tell.
This broken trust involved more than just the one family member. It involved several members of my family and this holiday season. Those
members that it involves are no longer a part of my life. Does this bother me, yes and no. Yes, because I was just getting to know this part of my family and no because, my growing up years this side of the family was unknown to me. They came into my life unexpectedly. Was a part of my life for a couple of years or so and I was just getting to know them. Well, now I know that they are a part of my life that I can live without. I had lived without them for over 40 + years.
Why do I feel this way? Because it all started with them and some family drama they were having over the holidays. I believe holidays are about family and family traditions. I believe that while growing up kids have the stability of their parents family traditions. I also believe that when a child/children becomes an adult and starts a family of their own, that its ok for them to start their own family traditions. I also think that their parents and other family members should respect them for wanting to have their own holiday traditions.
To me it doesnt matter what day I celebrate a holiday on as long as my family is there. The place where the holiday isnt important either. What is important to me is that those that I love and care about are there celebrating with me. Its the greatest gift of all, the gift of time with family. Sharing a meal and feeling the love and happines of being with those I love an care about. Making a shared memory of being a part of a family, a part of a family tradition be it an old family tradition or a new family tradition in the making.
Family traditions come and family traditions go, changing along the way an mine this holiday season is changing. Will I be happy with the changes? Yes, I will still be with the ones I love sharing the holiday. As for the family who wont be here this holiday season, whose to say if they will be happy with their holiday and the way they brought about the changes. Is it worth losing family over some of the family wanting to start their own traditions for their children? I would say for me yes, if this is the way family is going to act every holiday, then I dont need the drama, or the stress.
Am I happy with the way things turned out? Yes and no, I found out who I could and couldnt trust and just how some people really are. So with all that said I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a most prosperous and Happy New Year filled with peace, love and happiness.
So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.
person I am. They play an important role in my live and this holiday season, I found out just how much of a role they have in my life and the way I feel.
A family member whom I have always been very close to and trusted with many things that was going on in my life through out the years of growing
up broke that trust. Advice that I was given, deal with it and move on. Easier said than done. Will that trust be regained? Thats a question that at this time I have no answer for. Only time will tell.
This broken trust involved more than just the one family member. It involved several members of my family and this holiday season. Those
members that it involves are no longer a part of my life. Does this bother me, yes and no. Yes, because I was just getting to know this part of my family and no because, my growing up years this side of the family was unknown to me. They came into my life unexpectedly. Was a part of my life for a couple of years or so and I was just getting to know them. Well, now I know that they are a part of my life that I can live without. I had lived without them for over 40 + years.
Why do I feel this way? Because it all started with them and some family drama they were having over the holidays. I believe holidays are about family and family traditions. I believe that while growing up kids have the stability of their parents family traditions. I also believe that when a child/children becomes an adult and starts a family of their own, that its ok for them to start their own family traditions. I also think that their parents and other family members should respect them for wanting to have their own holiday traditions.
To me it doesnt matter what day I celebrate a holiday on as long as my family is there. The place where the holiday isnt important either. What is important to me is that those that I love and care about are there celebrating with me. Its the greatest gift of all, the gift of time with family. Sharing a meal and feeling the love and happines of being with those I love an care about. Making a shared memory of being a part of a family, a part of a family tradition be it an old family tradition or a new family tradition in the making.
Family traditions come and family traditions go, changing along the way an mine this holiday season is changing. Will I be happy with the changes? Yes, I will still be with the ones I love sharing the holiday. As for the family who wont be here this holiday season, whose to say if they will be happy with their holiday and the way they brought about the changes. Is it worth losing family over some of the family wanting to start their own traditions for their children? I would say for me yes, if this is the way family is going to act every holiday, then I dont need the drama, or the stress.
Am I happy with the way things turned out? Yes and no, I found out who I could and couldnt trust and just how some people really are. So with all that said I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a most prosperous and Happy New Year filled with peace, love and happiness.
So until next time I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Summer is Over
It's been a long hot summer and now that it's fall I love the warm breezy days and the cooler nights.
Both the boys are in school. Nicki is going to school and I pick the boys up after school.
Some family things have been going on and then there is some things going on with some of my so called friends. So called because they are here talking to me on the net when they want something from me, pc help, just to vent to, etc. Then they disappear for days at a time. This is me time. Not venting to any one person and if youre a follower of my blog, I an not particularly venting to you. Just my thoughts and feelings here.
I belong to a lot of yahoo groups, well the topic in one of them was deception this week and how it makes us feel. Well, some one who came into my life about 3 years ago called me over the weekend and make such a big deal about visiting me today. It didnt happen. I didnt think it would. So I wasnt really decieved. Then they called me earlier tonight and made such a big deal out of why they couldnt visit me today. And how maybe next time they come in or I could come visit them. Well......its not going to be me going to see them. And if they come here again, I am more than ok with it if they dont come to visit me. Some things are going to be changing in my life soon and they well be for the better.
I dont want people who feel obligated for whatever reason to come and visit. I dont need people like that in my life. Some people when they talk to you in person or on the phone its all about them and you cant get a word in edgewise. Well those people wont be hearing from me either any more. If they call me I might or might not answer my phone and I might or might not return their calls. To those people who said keep in touch, I am tired of being the one who calls and then gets brushed off after listening to all your problems. Well... that to is going to change, I am done listening. I dont need need you either.
What I did this summer. Spent a lot of time with my grandsons. Drake played t ball, both boys played soccer, and Drake is playing Little Raiders Flag Football. His last game is at home this Sunday at noon. I also spent time with my sister in law. We had a good time while she was here. We went places and did things.
Dale is doing better after having stents put in his leg back in may. He is on a blood thinner and going to get blood work done every 3 weeks, to make sure the blood thinner is working.
This week is the Black Walnut Festival. Tomorrow I am going to take the boys to look at the exhibits and to walk around and look at the carnival rides. Drake got off the school bus this evening all exicite. He said nana nana guess what? When I ask him what he said I saw Grandpa Crachet today. Grandpa Crachet is a puppet show that is free during the festival. I will be busy the rest of this week and weekend doing festival things. I will have pics posted on my face book of the festival and maybe some here.
Its getting late and tomorrow is going to be a long day. I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world. So until next time, be well and safe.
Both the boys are in school. Nicki is going to school and I pick the boys up after school.
Some family things have been going on and then there is some things going on with some of my so called friends. So called because they are here talking to me on the net when they want something from me, pc help, just to vent to, etc. Then they disappear for days at a time. This is me time. Not venting to any one person and if youre a follower of my blog, I an not particularly venting to you. Just my thoughts and feelings here.
I belong to a lot of yahoo groups, well the topic in one of them was deception this week and how it makes us feel. Well, some one who came into my life about 3 years ago called me over the weekend and make such a big deal about visiting me today. It didnt happen. I didnt think it would. So I wasnt really decieved. Then they called me earlier tonight and made such a big deal out of why they couldnt visit me today. And how maybe next time they come in or I could come visit them. Well......its not going to be me going to see them. And if they come here again, I am more than ok with it if they dont come to visit me. Some things are going to be changing in my life soon and they well be for the better.
I dont want people who feel obligated for whatever reason to come and visit. I dont need people like that in my life. Some people when they talk to you in person or on the phone its all about them and you cant get a word in edgewise. Well those people wont be hearing from me either any more. If they call me I might or might not answer my phone and I might or might not return their calls. To those people who said keep in touch, I am tired of being the one who calls and then gets brushed off after listening to all your problems. Well... that to is going to change, I am done listening. I dont need need you either.
What I did this summer. Spent a lot of time with my grandsons. Drake played t ball, both boys played soccer, and Drake is playing Little Raiders Flag Football. His last game is at home this Sunday at noon. I also spent time with my sister in law. We had a good time while she was here. We went places and did things.
Dale is doing better after having stents put in his leg back in may. He is on a blood thinner and going to get blood work done every 3 weeks, to make sure the blood thinner is working.
This week is the Black Walnut Festival. Tomorrow I am going to take the boys to look at the exhibits and to walk around and look at the carnival rides. Drake got off the school bus this evening all exicite. He said nana nana guess what? When I ask him what he said I saw Grandpa Crachet today. Grandpa Crachet is a puppet show that is free during the festival. I will be busy the rest of this week and weekend doing festival things. I will have pics posted on my face book of the festival and maybe some here.
Its getting late and tomorrow is going to be a long day. I hope all is well with you and yours in your own little piece of the world. So until next time, be well and safe.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Its Been A Long Time
Its been some time since I posted here. Things have happened this summer that were unexpected. My husband being in the hospital. Having stints put in his leg and having to go on blood thinners. He is at the point now with the blood thinners that he only has to go every 2 weeks and get blood work done. They usually change the dosage of his blood thinner pills evey time he goes. Hes doing really well on them and his blood is where they want it to be.
Drake played t-ball and I went to almost all of his games. Both the boys are now playing soccer and I go to most of their games.
School will be starting soon. Josh will be going into the 6th grade and Drake will be starting kindergarden. Its going to be odd not having drake around during the day. Kids grow up so fast. I sure will miss spending lots of time with Josh and Drake when school starts.
As for me, my sugar levels have been a little high, but the dr said they still looked good. My feet and ankles have been swelling from the heat. Its been one of the hottest summers we have had for a long time. The humidity is high every day.
Also, I am going to have a place removed on my shoulder, have my eyes checked and some other test done.
I have been working on some new kits, just one, but have several ideals for more.
My newest kits is called Mix n Match. It is kind of going to be like a mystery grab bag with a preview of one each for papers, elemsnts and frames. I should have it on my Beccas Unique Attic Treasures Blog some time next week.
I hope the summer has been kind to you and yours. Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world.
Drake played t-ball and I went to almost all of his games. Both the boys are now playing soccer and I go to most of their games.
School will be starting soon. Josh will be going into the 6th grade and Drake will be starting kindergarden. Its going to be odd not having drake around during the day. Kids grow up so fast. I sure will miss spending lots of time with Josh and Drake when school starts.
As for me, my sugar levels have been a little high, but the dr said they still looked good. My feet and ankles have been swelling from the heat. Its been one of the hottest summers we have had for a long time. The humidity is high every day.
Also, I am going to have a place removed on my shoulder, have my eyes checked and some other test done.
I have been working on some new kits, just one, but have several ideals for more.
My newest kits is called Mix n Match. It is kind of going to be like a mystery grab bag with a preview of one each for papers, elemsnts and frames. I should have it on my Beccas Unique Attic Treasures Blog some time next week.
I hope the summer has been kind to you and yours. Until next time I hope all is well in your own little piece of the world.
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