Domestic Violence

Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse,
child abuse or intimate partner violence (IPV),
can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one
or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage,
dating, family, friends or cohabitation. Domestic violence has
many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving,
restraining, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse;
emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation;
stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic
deprivation. Domestic violence may or may not constitute a crime,
depending on local statues, severity and duration of specific acts,
and other variables. Alcohol consumption and mental illness have
frequently been associated with abuse.

Any form of domestic violence is not ok. It happened to some one
close to me. This is her story. Shes a young mother in her early 20's.
Shes married, now in the process of getting a divorce. She has 2 boys
aged 4 and 2. She has custody of her boys. Their father
doesnt want any thing to do with the boys.

The boys father abused their mother in front of them. He was choking
her. He abused the 4 year old by hitting him in the face and leaving a
huge bruise covering most of his little cheek.

He kept her and the boys away from her family and friends for 3 months.
He cheated on her. This is the only time that I am aware of him abusing
them. It could or could not of happened before. People who are abused
become good at hiding it. They are ashamed, they fear being abused again if any one finds out.

She had finally had enough when he choked her in front of her mother and
her mothers friends. The police were called. He was charged, ordered to leave
the home. She went to a place for domestic violence here in town. She stayed
with her mother for a while then went back home with the boys, once the police told her he was out of the house and it was safe for her and the kids to go home.
The locks at their house has been changed, hes not allowed to be around them
or thier house. Some of his family is her neighbors.

I do not know if he was abused as a child, but was told that abuse runs in his
family. I dont know if that is true or not. I dont know him as well as I know
her.

They have been to court, she had a lawyer, he didnt. The judge told him to get
one because he was in a lot of trouble. He has to give back most of the things
he took out of their house.

Shes moving on with her life. Taking classes to better herself, looking for a job so she can support herself and her kids.

To get help call your local domestic violence hotline or the National Domestic
Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224

Hotline services include
crisis intervention, safety planning, information about domestic violence and
referrals to local service providers.

Direct connection to domestic violence resources available in the callers area
provided by a Hotline advocare.

Assistance in English and Spanish with Hotline advocates having access to more
than 170 different languages through interpreter services.

Assistance through email

Informational materials on such topics as domestic violence, sexual assult,
battering intervention and prevention programs, working through the
criminal justice system and related issues. There is help out there for those who have been abused.

No matter what the abuser tells you it is not your fault. They will tell you that your are
worthless. That no one else would have you. That your fat, ugly, worthless. They beat down
your self esteem so that you wont try to leave them. They control you this way. Some stay because
they think they have no place to go, no one to help them. But there is help, no matter who you are,
or where you live. Please dont wait until its to late.

Until next time, I hope all is well for you and yours in your own little piece of the world.